Archive for Movies

1980s Movie Graveyard Crossover

Episode 47 – 1980s Movie Graveyard Crossover

In this episode, Liz and Heather team up with The Goat from 1980s Movie Graveyard (podcast) to do a crossover movie commentary on 1985’s Commando!

1980s Movie Graveyard Crossover

Commentary commences…

This is a different format for us, as we usually talk about movies after we have seen them, but in this episode, we are watching the movie with The Goat and talking about it at the same time. Commando is a quintessential 80s action movie staring Arnold Schwarzenegger released in 1985.

The premise of this movie is that Arnold (John Matrix) is a retired army specialist and he is basically in witness protection, along with the rest of his team. Someone starts taking out his team in order to flush him out of hiding to get him to help overthrow a government in a third world country. In order to get him to comply, they kidnap his daughter played by Alyssa Milano. This was a serious action movie at the time, but listen as we rip it to shreds (and love every minute of it).

One Arnold makes it through the plane in record time, we get to watch him race across town after kidnapping flight attendant Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong) and somehow convincing her that he isn’t a total psychopath. Death puns commence. The total death count of this movie is 88 (81 are Arnold kills).

Follow us on Twitter (@nerdybitchespod), Instagram (@nerdybitches), Pinterest (@nerdybitches), and on Facebook (Nerdy Bitches Podcast). You can also download all of our podcasts on iTunes and Stitcher. Also, a 5-star review would be greatly appreciated!

Check out our friends at the 1980s Movie Graveyard for their awesome commentaries on different movies! We missed getting to talk with our friend CoreyG, so hopefully we will be able to do another crossover and talk with him too! You can find them on Twitter too (@80sMveGraveyard).

Play
Upcoming Movies

Episode 45 – Upcoming Movies

In this episode, Liz and Heather team up again with Houston comedienne Liz Padjen to talk about upcoming movies! Listen as Heather and (other) Liz talk about their connection to serial killer Ted Bundy, along with all of the movies coming out soon that we are excited to see (or perhaps not). Hold onto your butts.

Movie Sneak Peek Episode

Movies

Heather has collected some plot summaries for movies coming up for the end of 2016/beginning 2017 for us to discuss. Movies include: Pete’s Dragon (including a tangent on wooden roller coasters that kill); Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them; Bad Santa 2 (including a rant on Angelina Jolie); Rogue One (and sticking things into droids – plans, Obi-Wan sperm, etc. Also, Tattooine is clearly Dune); LEGO Batman (and if you don’t like the Golden Girls, go fuck yourself); Guardians of the Galaxy 2 (Chris Pratt is still sex on a stick); Doctor Strange; and Justice League (Don’t fuck it up again, Zac Snyder).

We also randomly talk about House of Pies/Guys, dogs driving with birds and a man with no shirt, 90 minute Easter eggs, Golden Girls Legos, Thank You for Being a Thug, please correct my quiz score, etc. Also, check out the crazy cat’s lady’s dating video (posted below) and an addition rant about cat assholes. Random rants again with Clark Gregg and Jennifer Grey, fuck you Zac Snyder, blah blah blah. Hashtag Dick Smacker.

Check out Liz’s Thank You for Being a Thug video here:

Crazy cat lady’s dating video.

Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest. Because we say awesome shit when we aren’t on the air.

For fans of the Book Club, our next episode will cover both Pride and Prejudice AND Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. We will compare/contrast the two books and why we probably didn’t bother to read the original in high school.

Recommendations: LumberJanes; and Princeless; and Rock and Roll Bingo at House of Blues.

Play
CPPodFam logo

Episode 40 – Classic Movie Club Alien/Aliens

In this episode, Liz and Heather introduce their very first Classic Movie Club: Alien/Aliens in preparation for the upcoming 30th anniversary Aliens cast reunion at Comicpalooza 2016 June 17 – 19. Classic Movie Club Alien Aliens

We are combining both Alien and Aliens in this review. We are looking forward to other Classic Movie Clubs in the future.

Classic Movie Club Alien Aliens

Alien

Released in 1979. This movie was pretty tense, and we can see this at the time being scary as shit. There was so much tension and claustrophobia in this movie – It’s a capsule in space…nowhere to go. The feeling of being trapped is probably the deepest human fear. These movies force you to face the fear since there is no escape.

We watched the two movies back-to-back and it was very interesting to see the difference both the Director and script can make.

One of the main antagonists in Alien is the computer – Mother. Also, Ian Holm’s character turns out to be a robot, and they didn’t know he was a robot (and the robot goes nuts). The robot has a directive that the main goal is to get the alien – crew expendable. “Holy blinking lights!” – Heather. They had a pretty awesome light bulb budget. If you have photo epileptic seizures, you may want to skip this one.

The Alien – that shit escalated quickly! It went from Face Hugger to penis with teeth to massive monster in a matter of hours. It was also ONE monster, rather than a bunch. It almost makes it scarier, because you just don’t know where it is.

Self destruct sequence – This is the most complex self-destruction sequence we have ever seen. And then, there is no way to cancel it. They should change that. This has inspired some of the favorite things that pop up in other movies – like the self-destruct sequence in Spaceballs.

Cryo – Why does Ripley have to get in with only porn panties? Can you not go into deep sleep in a jumpsuit? Also, she is the only one to make it out of the first movie, which is tragic. At the end of the second movie, she will be the only one to get out. From an HR perspective, they are going to start thinking it’s her.

None of this would have happened if John Hurt could have kept his damn balance.

Classic Movie Club Alien Aliens

Aliens

Released 1986 – The premise here is that Ripley’s escape pod has been found 58 years after the fact. The cat is also still alive, so probably the oldest cat on record. Now, Ripley has been found by “the company” and has been asked to go back to this planet as a consultant under the agreement that they would NOT be trying to get any of the aliens off the planet, but to rescue the 70 families that were now living on the teraformed planet. The company has a giant military presence in order to make this happen.

James Cameron tends to use the same actors in all of his movies, so we recognize these people, but they don’t have enough personality to form a connection with. We were kind of rooting for the aliens over the humans, since the humans were just annoying stereotypes. We are talking to you, Bill Paxton. We LOVE you, but for all of the 1980s, you played nothing but whiny bitch characters.

We thought originally that Paul Reisser’s character was going to be the romantic interest, but fortunately that didn’t happen. More so, he turned out to be a rapist. Then, there is the character of Newt. We really like this, but it’s almost like they couldn’t get Ripley into action unless she had a child to mother, and then she would start lactating, and save the day. It felt manipulative. They also trained her on a 2-minute instruction on how to shoot a gun, but when Newt goes missing, she duct tapes two guns together and goes hunting. They could have made her a badass, but it just didn’t have enough build up.

We didn’t find either of the movies scary. Maybe if we watched it back in the day it would have been, but we now see things that are so much more graphic that this didn’t hold up in the scary-genre. Aliens was a decent action movie, but there were a lot of things that could have been different.

Classic Movie Club Alien Aliens

Come find us at Comicpalooza June 17 – 19! We will be at the Aliens panel for sure, and will also be participating in a Women in Podcasting panel on Friday, the 17th.

Play

Episode 33 – DC Comics

In this episode, Liz and Heather discuss DC Comics, as a counterpoint to our Marvel episode from 2015. This episode should be called DC – Don’t Fuck it Up.

DC Comics

We talk all about the DC Comics movies, past, present, and current. Heather is a HUGE Batman fan, so she has been waiting to do this episode for a while.

We talk about Deadpool, Batman vs. Superman, and the appearance of Wonder Woman! We also talk about the upcoming Suicide Squad movie that will be coming out later this year.

We talk a bit about the lack of female characters in both the DC and Marvel universes, but we really don’t see a Marvel counterpart to Wonder Woman.

Side note – DC Comics seems to be much darker and gritty and super rapey from time to time (I’m talking to you, Watchmen!). These are dark, but also fairly funny, so we are interested in seeing what comes forth.

Aquaman is also apparently getting his own movie. I’m interested in seeing whether or not he will be the pussy of the Justice League, like in the comics, or if he will actually be an interesting character.

Another side note: You suck, Megan Fox. We hate everything you are in. Always. Eat a cheeseburger, please. And cover yourself, for the love of dog!

DC is really doing great things in the realm of TV shows: Gotham, Supergirl, Arrow, etc. They surpass Marvel, who only has Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter, both of which are fabulous.

Recommendations

lambCheck out our upcoming Book Club choice, Lamb: The Gospel According to Christ’s Childhood Friend, Biff by Christopher Moore. It is hilarious, and you may go to hell, but you might learn a thing or two along the way!

Also, make sure you subscribe to us on iTunes or Stitcher, follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram. Seriously, we are everywhere people. Feel free to stalk us.

 

 

Play

Episode 31 – The Force Awakens: Star Wars SPOILERS

In this episode, Liz and Heather invite Cassie, Kitty, and Heather back into the studio to discuss Star Wars: The Force Awakens. This episode will be full of all kinds of spoilers and squees! It has been a full year of Nerdy Bitches podcasting leading up to this movie’s release, so it is finally time for us to talk about it, having actually seen it!

Force Awakens: Star Wars Spoilers

Again, this episode is FULL OF

RiverSongSpoilers

so, proceed at your own risk if you haven’t yet seen the movie.

We talk about how much we all loved this movie, our favorite parts, parts we may not have liked as much (ha!), and what we would like to see from the next movie(s). Most of the panel have seen the movie 2-3 times with more plans to keep seeing it. We all noticed that the more we watched, the more we noticed. So, we all clearly loved the movie. Even Heather, our non-Star Wars girl, is becoming a bigger and bigger fan!

Favorite Characters

  • Rey. Duh. She is pure awesome! She is actually a strong female lead who is actually strong throughout. She doesn’t NEED the man to rescue her.
  • Chewy. We really loved how funny he was throughout this movie!
  • Finn. We are hoping to see more of him both past and future. Does he have some Force sensitivity? Is he related to someone we have seen before?
  • Poe – We want to know more. He wasn’t as strong of a player in this movie as we thought he would.
  • Maz Kanata. We would like to see more of her. Another strong female character.
  • General Leia.
  • Kylo Ren. He’s kind of a whiny bitch, a total Skywalker, but we kind of love the tantrum. That is the difference between him and Darth Vader. Vader never lost control. Ren’s lack of control is what makes him really scary.

Han Solo – SO MANY TEARS!! Heather called it in our last episode, where Han Solo needs to die to be able to give the new generation something to hold on to. It was both the best and worst way for him to die. Does he, perhaps, have the Force? He is incredibly lucky. Who knows?

Did Kylo Ren actually save Rey? Did he take away her memory? Are they siblings? Cousins? WE DON’T KNOW! But, we are so ready to find out!

 

Least Favorite

  • General Hux. (Bill Weasley!)

Note: David Bowie did NOT fight at the battle of the Alamo. Also, several days after this recording, David Bowie passed away at age 69 from cancer. We did discuss his Labyrinth cod piece, but in our defense, he was alive at the time. Rest in Peace, King Jareth. Please enjoy.

David Bowie's junk

David Bowie’s junk

 

Upcoming Book Club: Lamb by Christopher Moore. Read it.

Lamb

Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and at our Nerdy Bitches Store. You can now buy this awesome Nerdy Bitches flask to make any day Boozylicious!

Play

Episode 29 – 1985 Summer Movies Part 2

In this episode, Liz and Heather continue their review of 1985 Summer Movies Part 2. During Part 1, the bitches discussed a few favorite movies, along with some honorable mentions that they couldn’t fail to mention.
  
There were so many classic movies from 1985, so we had to just stick to summer movies. Here are a few more favorites:

  • Real Genius – Back when Val Kilmer was marginally hot, before he became Iceman hot. Super geeky nerd movie, but also mainstream fun. We also would love to fill an enemy’s house with popcorn. There is still nerdy bullying going on by other nerds, so that is interesting. Just a fun movie. Probably won’t change your life, but it could.
  • Just One of the Guys – a girl who wants to be a journalist, who missed an opportunity because she was a chick, changes school as a guy to go undercover. Funny and campy. “It’s alright. He’s got tits.”
  • Commando – There is a string of terrible/awesome Arnold movies over a few years that are basically the same script with the same cast just switched around. This movie is so full of terrible puns that you just can’t not love this movie. Watch it again. You cannot hate this movie.
  • Honorable Mention: Follow That Bird –recently watched again and it is completely adorable. Big Bird on the run from the Dodos and the weird lady trying to get back to Sesame Street. 
  • Better Off Dead – John Cusack is awesome. Also, many montages. Quintessential 80s movie. 
  • Brewster’s Millions – Richard Pryor is a minor league baseball player who has an uncle die, he is the only heir. In order to appreciate the money, he has to spend $30Million, but it can’t be wasted, no assets, and can’t tell anyone what he’s doing to get his true inheritance of $300 Million. Super campy and great.
  • Honorable Mention: Cocoon – A lot of great movies were stemmed from this one (Batteries Not Included, Short Circut). Most people would probably include this on their list, but we aren’t old.
  • Peewee’s Big Adventure – Not winning any awards, but we freaking love it. Tim Burton’s feature debut! We still want to know where the hell Peewee gets money for all his toys because who would hire him?? Great one-liners throughout.

Recommendations:

  • Heather: YouTube for some full length movies
  • Liz: You’re Never Weird on the Internet by Felicia Day (book)

NEXT BOOK CLUB: American Gods by Neil Gaiman will be out next episode. Go read it!

Play

Episode 28 – 1985 Summer Movies Part 1

In this episode, we are covering our favorite 1985 Summer Movies Part 1. It’s been 30 years since all of these movies came out, so we took a note from Operaman on what he would like to hear!

1985 Movies

There were so many movies that came out in 1985, but we narrowed it down to just the summer movies. We picked our top favorites, and this show will be split in two so that we can get all of them in.

Part 1 – Favorites

  • Back to the Future (the first one) – This has become such a classic, and this year there has been so much talk about this since we are now living in the year where he goes forward to in the second movie. This movie was just good fun and we still love it.
  • Goonies – LOVE this movie! Liz’s Goonies shirt still gets a lot of notice, even from younger kids. There is a lot of suspension of disbelief in this movie, but it is still pretty awesome.
  • Weird Science – The age old tale of dorky boys unable to get a girlfriend. We can’t talk to girls, we have way high expectations of who we should be dating (hello, Kelly LeBrock), but the men were pretty unattractive.
  • (Breakfast Club did come out in 1985, but not in the summer. But we still love it!)
  • Honorable Mention: National Lampoon’s European Vacation – This wasn’t on our top list, but we still have to mention it. Probably the first PG-13 movie, and we got dragged out when the boobs came out.
  • Teen Wolf – So cheesy and stupid, but we LOVED it. It’s really a bad premise when the guy isn’t popular until he became a werewolf. But he leaves all his nerd friends in the dust, which sucks, but it was still fantastic in it’s level of cheese.
  • Honorable Mention: Mad Max Thunderdome – TINA!!!
  • Explorers – Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix, Jason Presson – Dreams about the pattern which turns out to be a circuit board and then they build it. They build the ship, The Thunder Road, and manage to get out into space to follow the signal. They make contact with aliens, who have been watching Earth TV, and who turn out to be kids. Good movie at the time, but 30 years later, it doesn’t quite hold us.

Check back in next week for the second part of the 1985 Summer Movies!

(Upcoming book club – American Gods by Neil Gaiman)

Play

Episode 26 – Star Wars

STAR WARS!!! In this episode, Liz and Heather discuss the new Star Wars movie with fellow nerdy bitches, Sophie and Kitty!

star-wars-7-trailer

Episode 7: The Force Awakens opens December 18th, and at least 3/4 of us are SUPER excited! This is a Boozylicious episode, thanks to Kitty’s Magic Martinis (Star Wars name still pending). We do also give a nod to both the Robot Chicken and Family Guy’s versions of Star Wars, which are freaking hilarious. If you haven’t seen those, check them out.

Here is one of the trailers:

We discuss what has been leaked, what hasn’t yet been released, and what we are hoping will be released. Also, Star Wars math is wonky. The ages from movie to movie just don’t add up.

Anakin may be Jesus. Listen, and we will tell you why. (Also – read Lamb by Christopher Moore) We also play Fuck, Kill, Marry with the Star Wars universe – it doesn’t get better than this!

Side Note: Here is the link to the Con Man trailer that we talked about:

Alert – Po is not the black Stormtrooper – that’s Finn. We were drinking. A lot. You don’t need to tell us we are wrong. We know it. We admit it. Get off our backs! 😉

We are all planning on watching the movies again before the movie is released. We will definitely be having a post-release episode discussing the movie which will be full of spoilers and speculations.

And the merchandising! WTF? Star Wars fruit? AT-ATs at the Astros game? Totally overboard, in our bitchy opinions. Please stop changing the shape of our pasta to meet your Force needs.

Recommendations – Go watch everything we have been talking about!

Proper order to watch Star Wars movies: 4,5,6,1,2,3 – This doesn’t ruin all of the later reveals.

 

Follow the shit out of us: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and our Nerdy Bitches Podcast Store

Play

Episode 21 – 2015 Movies Part 2

Movies - 2015This episode is 2015 Movies Part 2; Liz and Heather talk about the remaining movies from September to December this year.

September

  • Very few great movies were/are scheduled in September.

October

  • Pan
  • Jem and the Holograms – SO disappointing that they are changing the story completely

November

  • The new James Bond movie (Specter)
  • The Peanuts Movie
  • The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2

December

  • STAR WARS: The Force Awakens – *squeeeeee*
  • Point Break – remake. Why?

Bitch of the Week – Why must we remake everything?? Jem? Point Break? Please stop.

 

Recap – the movies were awesome this year! Unless they weren’t.

Recommendations

  • Heather – Goggles4u.com – If you have your prescription, you can go online and order low-cost glasses where you can have multiple pairs of glasses laying around, if you are a bespectacled Nerdy Bitch like us.
  • Liz – Lego Jurassic World – This game is so much fun to play! I am playing through Steam, since they no longer make these games for the original Wii and I am not about to buy a new system. It is really geared towards kids, so they don’t really show anyone getting killed. It covers all four Jurassic Park movies and includes actual dialog from the movies.

Real Bitch of the Week – iPhone photographers – you are NOT a professional photographer. Just because you have a nice camera or a high quality phone camera does not mean you can replace the professional who WAS actually hired to shoot the wedding. Get out of the way. If you WANT to do it, learn to do it and do it! Just stop making life harder for those of us who have already done that.

Announcement: We DO now have our very own Nerdy Bitches store! Go check it out at zazzle.com/nerdybitchespodcast – Please note to see the good stuff, you MUST have the site’s content filter turned to OFF. Apparently, the word “bitches” is seen as “offensive” to some. This is also a good place to note that we have heard this and have created a mostly-appropriate line of Nerdy Bitches wear for infants and children that probably won’t get them thrown out of daycare. Mostly. Because who doesn’t want their baby wearing this?

NerdyPaci

Play

Episode 20 – 2015 Movies – Part 1

Most-Anticipated-Movies-of-2015-In Part one of this episode, Liz and Heather talk about 2015 Movies that have already come out and get into the remaining movies for the rest of the year. We ended up going so long that the episode had to be split into two parts – so don’t forget to check back in next week for the second half!

Shout out to Ofelia for some awesome new Nerdy Bitches artwork! We have created a shop for some Nerdy Bitches merchandises, but here are some of the new drawings.

Doggies

[Literal Nerdy Bitches (L to R: Daphne, Lucy, and Gertrude)]

The list of movies we used came from movieinsider.com, if you would like to follow along. 2015 has been a fantastic movie year and we still have more awesomeness to come!

Heather tends to watch a lot more movies in the theater than Liz, so she has seen more, but here are some of the ones we covered in this episode:

January

  • Whiplash
  • American Sniper
  • Paddington
  • Jupiter Ascending

February

  • Fifty Shades of Grey
  • Kingsmen

March

  • Insurgent (The Divergent series – movie 2)

April

  • Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
  • Age of Adeline

May

  • Avengers: Age of Ultron
  • Pitch Perfect 2
  • Mad Max: Fury Road

June

  • Jurassic World (Chris Pratt is sex on a stick. No apologies.)
  • Ted 2
  • Spy
  • Max

July

  • Another God Damn Terminator Movie. End Scene.
  • Magic Mike XXL
  • Minions
  • Trainwreck
  • Ant Man
  • Pixels
  • Mission Impossible

August

  • Fantastic Four Remake. Next.
  • The Man from UNCLE
  • Straight Outta Compton
  • Hit Man
  • American Ultra

Stay tuned for Part 2 – 2015 Movies, coming next week!

Email us at ContactUs@nerdybitches.com with your faves for the year.

Play